Angels on the Moon
by circlebackwards
Summary: "Don't all those stars and space and stuff make you feel small?" The stars had returned to Dean's eyes and space was once again blocking air from his lungs, but he wasn't alone now. Castiel turned his head to the side so he could see Dean. "Of course not," he stated, like it was the the most obvious thing in the universe. "Up there is my home and birthplace."


**A/N: **I wrote this one shot while sitting in a Denver airport, so please excuse the astronomy inaccuracies as well as any other errors and general choppiness. I was inspired by the song 'Angels on the Moon' by Thriving Ivory, (you should take a listen) and wanted to write something where Cas got to share his some of his vast knowledge of space with Dean.

* * *

Looking up at the night sky, Dean felt as if there were a massive weight crushing down on his chest and the air was being forcibly dragged from his lungs. Space was able to suffocate him and expand in infinite directions simultaneously, and not for the first time in his life, Dean felt smothered by feelings of insignificance.

It was all too much and not nearly enough at the same time, and he felt the surreal and terrifying sensation of drifting out of his body only to aimlessly float through the cosmos. Surrounded by stars, Dean found himself lost and achingly alone until a gentle touch on his shoulder grounded him.

Dean heaved in lungfuls of air, reality harshly reminding him that breathing was actually necessary. He forced himself to blink a few times and get rid of the stars behind his eyes. "Cas?"

Castiel regarded the human with a soft sense of affection. "Hello, Dean," he said, watching Dean's face soften with familiarity. "Is there a reason we're in the middle of nowhere?" Cas asked, tilting his head in curious contemplation.

Shaking his head, Dean slid onto the hood of the Impala and patted the space next to him encouragingly. "Nah," he said with false lightness. "Just needed to get away from it all for a night. C'mon; join me."

The angel studied the car for moment, leaning forward to brush the dust off the hood and wiped his hand on his coat. Cas sat on the hood next to Dean with hesitation, carefully leaning back against the windshield. Dean's silence and superficial cheer made the angel nervous, so he cleared his throat. "What are you thinking about?"

Dean hummed thoughtfully for a minute before responding. "The insignificance of everything, I guess, in comparison to the entire universe."

"What prompts you to say 'insignificant?'"

Dean gestured to the giant sky lying before them "Look at all of that! Don't all those stars and space and shit make you feel small?" The stars had returned to his eyes and space was once again blocking air from his lungs, but he was not alone. Cas was here, and Dean could bear to think about the infinity of the sky for now.

Castiel turned his head to the side so he could see Dean. "Of course not," he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "Up there is my home and birthplace."

"Seriously? You're kidding me." This revelation forced Dean to face Cas as well, just to see the truth of it in his eyes. And by God, if Cas' eyes weren't the stars and skies in their own right. "Tell me about it?" Dean asked pensively. "Because I don't get how that oblivion could ever be a home."

Returning upwards, Cas' gaze roved the sky for constellations. "It's because each of those stars is the aftermath of one of my brothers or sisters being created." He paused to gather his thoughts and steady his voice. "When I am on Earth and I feel alone and hunted, I look up at night and remember that we are a family, albeit a dysfunctional one."

Dean let out a low whistle. "Wow," he said finally. "So that's all of you up there, together. A family picture."

Cas made a noise of affirmation. "The creation of an angel is fairly explosive."

"No shit," Dean dead-panned. "Do you know who's who?"

Cas snorted and knocked Dean's foot with his own. "Of course." He searched the sky for a second. "Over there; you see those stars that form a tilted house shape? Next to the Perseus constellation."

"Yeah, I can see it. Auriga, right?"

The angel looked back at Dean briefly to smile with appreciation. "Correct. Starting from the peak of the house is my sister, Rachel; the brightest star is Naomi; then Hael and Rebecca; and finally Joshua, Nathaniel, and Sophia. That one outlier near Naomi was Gadreel," Cas finished quietly, a small frown creasing his forehead.

"Was?" Dean prodded.

"We do not see much of him anymore," Castiel replied shortly. He allowed a heavy silence to fall before continuing. "If you look to the left, you see Gemini, at the top of which are Castor and Pollux. Gabriel is the slightly bigger and brighter of the two—Pollux. Michael always said," Cas had to pause for a quiet laugh, "Michael always said Gabriel had been ostentatious, even from the beginning. Gabriel is the only one of the archangels not included in Ursa Major, the great bear." Castiel smiled fondly to himself. "I've heard he gave up his place there for Lucifer."

Now it was Dean's turn to snort. "What a useless sacrifice to make. Especially in light of Lucifer's douchebaggy-ness."

Cas jabbed him with his elbow. "My brothers loved each other," he said solemnly. "It is disrespectful to trivialize their devotion."

Dean held up his hand in placation. "Whoa, sorry. So which of those stars are which?"

"From the tail it is Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Raquel, Remiel, and Saraquel. The yellow star on the lip of the cup is Lucifer. It was my older brothers' way of shunning him."

The two admired the sky in silence for a while. Even Dean had begun to better appreciate the intricacies of stars, but something was still missing. "Hey Cas, while that's good and all, where are you? Do you have a star and a constellation?" Dean nudged Cas with his shoulder, silently guessing to himself which star his friend was.

"Hm? Oh yes." Castiel was caught off-guard by the question; he hadn't expected the hunter to ask about him. "Look straight down from Ursa Major. It's…that one."

"A little more specific would be helpful, buddy," Dean snarked.

Castiel huffed and snatched Dean's hand in his own. "Oh, just let me show you." He guided their hands through the sky before stopping on the constellation of Leo. "The blue one in his mane. I share the constellation with Anna, Samandriel, and Balthazar."

There was a short intake of breath when Dean saw Cas' star there, all blue and shining proudly. He looked between Cas and the star repeatedly. "Dude, you're freaking Regulus? As in the lion's heart?"

Cas frowned slightly, wondering if he should be offended by the incredulity in Deans' voice. "Why do you seem so surprised?" He drew away from the human, trying to ineffectually shield himself from any mocking.

"I didn't mean it like that." Dean bumped his shoulder gently. "It's just…wow. I've probably looked at that star thousands of times before knowing that's you. It matches your eyes. " He let out a shaky exhale and settled back onto the windshield to re-evaluate his aversion to the night sky.

"Oh." Cas was quiet for a moment. "Thank you, Dean." He relaxed again, unaware that he was still staring at Dean with something akin to awe.

Dean could feel the weight of Cas' gaze, and though it made him want to fidget, he steeled himself to turn and look at the angel with a slight smile. "Hey, did I say to let go of my hand? No, so c'mere." He took Cas' hand back in his own and interlaced their fingers with a casual ease the complete opposite of what he felt.

Cas was acutely aware of their hands resting on the Impala's hood between them. The physical connection burned so brightly, he almost checked that the car wasn't melting underneath. "Dean, you should know I find you anything but insignificant. In fact, you are remarkable." He paused when Dean's breathing hitched, wondering if he should continue to speak his mind. He did. "I was created for a purpose, you know. I was made to be a soldier and obey orders. However, you continue to exist even though no one tells you to, and that is why you are extraordinary."

As well as worrying that Dean could feel his palm sweating, Castiel worried that Dean could also hear his thundering heartbeat. However, his fears were eased when Dean squeezed his hand just enough that Cas could feel his rapidly answering pulse.

"Thank you."

And that was how they spent the night, one man in a worn-out leather jacket and the other an angel in a beat up trench coat laying side by side on the Impala, hands perpetually linked by silent agreement. When the sun finally began to rise and chase away the church-like darkness, the two finally broke apart. They rejoined each other on the driver's side where they both began to speak at the same time.

"Dean, I—"

"Look, Cas."

Dean took a deep breath as he reached up to tentatively cradle Cas' jaw in his palm. "Don't stay away so long next time, okay?"

"You know I don't have much choice."

Dean hesitated, slightly tightening his fingers around the back of Cas' neck. "I know, I know. Just—just…come back." _To me_ was the unspoken addition Dean allowed to hang above them. His green eyes stared down pleadingly into the other man's.

At some point, Castiel's arm had lifted of its own volition and was now clutching Dean's coat sleeve like it was the gravity tying him to the earth. His gaze flickered over Dean's face, studying the man as if he were God himself. "Of course," he murmured. "For you, always."

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself. "Cas, I…" he found himself trailing off when he'd opened his eyes and saw he was alone. The firm line of Cas' jaw was nothing more than a ghost on his palm. His hand dropped back to his side, flexing his fingers to get rid of the feeling. "I miss you."

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**A/N: **

"You can tell me all your thoughts  
About the stars that fill polluted skies  
And show me where you run to  
When no one's left to take your side  
But don't tell me where the road ends  
'Cause I just don't wanna know."

And yes, the constellations into which I sorted the angels have vague meaning.  
I may end up turning this into a series if creativity prevails, so please please please let me know if you liked this and want more! It's kind of a bummer when people don't give feedback; indulge the addict.


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